


bang bang, my baby shot me down

by sybil



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/M, Lost Girl Spoilers, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybil/pseuds/sybil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heart is a wicked master.</p><p>{Season 3 Spoilers}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. what comes before the fall

**Author's Note:**

> Set at the beginning of Season Three I will warn again that this will contain spoilers for 3x01 for those that have not seen it yet. I do not own Lost Girl but in a perfect world...maybe. This is the first story I've done for Lost Girl and I hope you enjoy it!

He had lived for so long and fought so hard for what he believed in that it shocked him when he failed to voice a protest when he sees Bo and the mortal doctor in an intimate embrace. Even though he had been given back his ability to love he could feel a new chasm opening in his chest, made worse by the sympathetic look tossed his way by a certain raven-haired human girl standing next to him.

"She looks so happy."

It sounded as hollow as he felt, making himself watch no matter how badly he wished to turn away. He could not fault her in her desire to be with Lauren; all of her missteps aside the reserved doctor really did seem to care for Bo a great deal and could give her what she desired. Kenzi had been right...waiting for the opportune moment had cost him his second chance and when she touched his arm he gently shook her off. 

"I'm sorry D, normally this is where I offer you a pint of ice cream and we listen to riot!grrl music but you've got outie bits instead of innie bits." Her blue eyes meet his and he musters a small smile at her crude humor. 

"I'm fine, Kenzi, really." They have been spotted and he turned quickly on his heel so as not to meet Bo's gaze, hands finding their way into the pockets of his jacket.

His feet carry him away, blue eyes trained on the 'EXIT' and unwilling to look behind him at the three women. Had he done so he would have seen Lauren and Bo, hands clasped tightly as if to signify their status. He would have seen the confused look Bo shot Kenzi as she watched Dyson's rapidly retreating figure and the nonchalant shrug that briefly hitched Kenzi's shoulders in response.

* * *

One agonizing week had passed before he could bring himself to go to The Dál at the behest of Hale with some excuse or another about the Siren needing the company of someone that would actually look him in the eye. The usual Fae populated the way station and he could feel Trick's eyes upon him as he made his way through the semi-crowded room to take up residency on a bar stool next to his old partner.

"Where the hell have you been, man?!" Hale's hand collides with a slap against Dyson's shoulder and the wolf sees a seriousness in the Siren's eyes that don't match the grin on his lips. It is clear that he wants to know what is going on but Dyson isn't sure he's in a sharing mood.

"Busy...department hooked me up with a new partner, it takes some getting used to." A cold beer slides into the back of his hand and he glances up to see Trick staring at him expectantly. _Coming out is seeming more and more like a terrible idea._

"We need to talk Dyson." The Blood King was frowning at him as he poured drinks and Dyson felt frustration building on the pressure that already dwelt in his chest. He was not as prepared for this as he had once thought himself to be and knew the night would only be going downhill from here.

"Can't it wait? I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures right now." His tone was short and bitter but the ferocity that lingered in between the words surprised him as much as it surprised the Trick and Hale. He felt extremely defensive and wasn't quite sure why until a familiar scent tickled its way up his nostrils. _Bo._

Trick quickly recovered his composure and managed to fix him with an icy glare that any Jötunn would have admired. "No, it can't wait. Let's go in back. _Now._ "

With a sigh of defeat he rose from the bar stool, garnering a sympathetic glance from Hale as he followed Trick into the back room. A brief flash of memory that had been long buried in his subconscious sprung up then and for a moment he saw flashes of bare skin and felt finger nails on his back. _Christ, I have to get out of here._ Pausing next to a barrel of mead he leaned against it for support as much as comfort, wondering over just how long-winded this lecture was going to be.

"Dyson, it's been a week since I've seen or spoken to you...and I have made various attempts to reach you. What is going on? Are you in some kind of trouble?" The man's eyes were alight with the spirit of concern, arms crossed over his chest as he regarded the wolf-shifter. Something about his attitude told Dyson he wouldn't be able to wriggle out of this one with a few poor excuses or dead silence and he felt a growl crawling up his throat.

"I'm just dealing with personal matters--" It was a vague response, carefully constructed and essentially true but he could see by the weariness that befell Trick's face that it was not the answer he was looking for. Dyson did not want to talk about the entire situation...he was not in a confessional and Trick was not his preacher and although he did owe the Blood Sage a great deal he did not want the man privy to what had recently come to pass. Perhaps it was because he believed he knew what the old Fae would say to him and he did not want to hear it spoken aloud, compounding insult and injury and regret into one toxic cocktail that he had no choice but to swallow.

"I know the Norn gave you back your missing piece." With those words came an explosion of anger, it was like a bullet to the wolf's guts and it roiled so intensely he actually believed he might grasp his stomach in real physical pain. There was only one person that knew of what had transpired and the betrayal of his trust stung like a brand against flesh. He found himself backing away from Trick with teeth set on edge.

"If you already knew then why ask me? So you could make me say it out loud?!" A roar tore itself from his throat, fingers transitioning into talons as he took a swipe at the mead cask he had used as a refuge before the interrogation took place. Trick never flinched, never looked away and Dyson realized that he hated him in that moment. For his calmness, his power, his manipulations.

Trick sighed and shook his head, hands dropping with palms open toward the wolf in silent supplication. "I wanted to hear it from your mouth but judging by your reaction I'm guessing it is true after all."

A laugh completely lacking in mirth and warmth met the air and Dyson hated how _desperate_ it sounded. Turning his back on the old Sage his hand closed on the handle that led out into the bar, nearly jerking the door off its hinges. He no longer had a care for who heard and barely noticed the people scrambling out of his way, "Oh yes, it all came back to me. I love but I'm still as hollow as I was without it so I suppose you could say there's some sick kind of symmetry to the situation."

Stalking toward the exit and craving fresh night air he ignored the shell-shocked expression on Bo's face and found he only received the tiniest sliver of satisfaction from the disconsolate look that appeared in Lauren's eyes.

"WHO NEEDS A DRINK?!" Kenzi pipes up enthusiastically, holding up a bottle of vodka, "There's enough angst in this room to fill a teenage girl's diary!"


	2. unwanted revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bo feels the darkness growing within her and she can only deny her other nature for so long before it takes charge.
> 
> {Season 3 Spoilers}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set at the beginning of Season Three I will warn again that this will contain spoilers for 3x01 for those that have not seen it yet. I do not own Lost Girl but in a perfect world...maybe.

There are places in the heart that even the mind cannot see. Secrets so deeply entrenched within one's consciousness that it takes a team of psychiatrists or a deeply disturbing event to dredge the memories like divers dragging a lake for a corpse. That is exactly what it feels like when Bo first realizes that there is something not quite right within her own body, as if another person has taken up residence in the flesh that has taken her 28 years to become comfortable with. It slides around inside her, this thing with hooks and tentacles...feeling her out and oozing into all the weaker places that exist in her personality.

Trick had warned her of this of course, the corruption that would slither inside because of the Garuda's presence. At the time she had every intention of taking the pill he had made for her but when faced with his death she had chosen a different path. It was as if the two moralities that existed inside her were locked in a strenuous battle for supreme control over her soul and the one that had always led her until now was exhausted. The wicked voice that had encouraged her to drain that hapless man of his life force in the alleyway had been so enticing, so convincing in the rightness of the act that she had not given it a second thought.

Not until she lied about what kept her from getting back to Lauren at a decent hour, not until she lay awake long after the blonde had slipped into a comfortable sleep beside her. Staring up at the ceiling of the doctor's methodically arranged apartment Bo knew that something was wrong just as she knew that she would have to think about what she had overheard at The Dál. Her newly developed predilection for devilish behavior suggested that she could have them both; take everything that they wanted to give her until there was nothing left. The other side whispered of anguish, on Dyson's part and her own, and old memories of past intimacy conjured themselves before she could stop them. _Weakness. All of it is weakness to a would-be queen._

Lauren stirs beside her and she tries to quell the rebellion growing inside her; closing her eyes to the world to welcome what little sleep will come to her without being accompanied by nightmares.

* * *

"Are we going to talk about this, Bo?" She is stirring cream into her coffee, wearing a loose-fitting shirt with the top three buttons undone and cotton boy-shorts. The glow of morning sex is slowly ebbing out of her skin but Bo still finds Lauren to be entrancing, soft skin and sad eyes

Bo reaches out and traces a path down the other woman's arm, a teasing grin warming her face. Stopping only when Lauren pulled away, face clouding over. "Talk about what?"

"You know what I'm trying to say, Bo. Playing dumb is not attractive." Now Lauren refuses to look at her, swirling the spoon in her cereal bowl without actually taking a bite of any of it.

The sharp sting of rage exploded inside the Succubus and she found herself wanting nothing more than placing her hand around the doctor's slender, delicious neck and squeezing. Lauren must have sensed the violent shift in Bo's temper because she was putting distance between them. There was fear in her eyes and Bo could take no more, the tumult inside of her was making her stomach churn intolerably. Snatching her keys from the table she spun away with fists clenched, turning to stare hard at the blonde, "You know what else isn't attractive?! Being a condescending bitch!" Storming out the door she slammed it behind her. _Why am I feeling like this? Why did I want to hurt her?_

* * *

"Something is wrong with Bo!" Those are the first words out of Lauren's mouth as she rushes in to The Dál. Trick looks up from the tome he's been perusing behind the bar, startled. Dyson is sitting on the opposite side of the room with Hale but he still hears it. How can he not?

"What do you mean, Lauren?" Trick's voice is calm but the expression on his face betrays him. Dyson doesn't want to wait for the doctor to expound on hypotheses and speak in nonsensical medical jargon. After Tamsin drew his attention to that feed he had begun to question and his memory had drawn back to write after the Garuda had been poisoned in Trick's body and that pill... _that pill._

"Trick...she didn't take that pill." Dyson's voice is solemn and he's glad that at least one thing is making sense. She chose to save her grandfather rather than save her soul. A classic move.

"We need to find her."

* * *

And find her they do. It takes three days and a lot of favors called in but their search ends in an abandoned warehouse similar to the building that had been used to test Bo that first year he had known her. She is naked and smudged with dirt and blood and when she first sees Kenzi, Dyson, Trick and Lauren standing there she snarls and steps over the corpses of her victims. Her eyes flash from blue to red and for a moment Dyson thinks she might actually attack them but he doesn't move back, instead he moves forward unlike the rest of them.

"Bo come back now...we've been looking all over for you." He watches her movements carefully, hands held out to show he doesn't have any weapons.

But she doesn't believe him because Bo isn't there. Well, she is but she's watching from a distance, locked away in a corner of her head that she just can't seem to escape from. _Where no one can hear her scream._ This shifter Fae is getting to close for comfort and so this thing that is but isn't Bo pounces with a scream. The others try to help but she flings them away, tearing at the Wolf with a deadly fervor. She wants his blood, his life force, she wants to _devour_ him.

"Bo!" He catches her wrists as she draws out his Chi, bloodied face straining up towards hers to reach her if nothing else. "Bo, please come back. Please. It's me. It's me!" She draws down close to his ear, her tongue flicking out to lick the outer lobe.

"And this is me, Dyson." The whisper has a reptile hiss to it and he cannot believe her. He will not believe her.

He is getting weaker and the lights are dimmer and he can just barely hear Kenzi screaming in the background as this beast with tangled hair and dark eyes hovers over him. He loosens his grip on her wrists, lets her go slowly. "I love you."

And now Bo comes clawing and screaming to the surface, breaking through the barrier that had been set up to keep her in. The puppeteer pulling her strings let go of Dyson and scrambled back, and it was Bo that crawled forward to touch Dyson's shoulder, looking up to see Trick and Lauren staring at her. "I...I n-n-need help."


	3. dead hearts are everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is a short and fate is cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause in between chapters. I kind of have a.d.d. when it comes to writing.

He is slow to heal, the gashes in his chest and the bruises on his face ghastly reminders of what had transpired only two days ago. The implications of what Bo had done, of what had been done to save her and all the rest hung heavy over everyone's head. He stares down at her face now, skin smooth of any furrows and he feels a pang of guilt because her slumber is spell-induced and although Trick had warned she would more than likely break out of it but with some luck they could find their solution.

The relationship between himself and Lauren had taken a turn for the awkward and unsettling; she had been there and she had heard the words leave his lips. And now sometimes he would catch her looking at him with something akin to rage and sadness but the pained silence stretched miles wide between them for neither had the energy for a conversation about past events. Not when current ones were so pressing.

He could, in theory, go to the Norn again but he doubted the crone would even see him now after Kenzi's well-meaning visit went dangerously awry.

* * *

A sudden break in the case comes when Tamsin stumbles across an old friend that owes her a favor. The valkyrie is secretive, won't say much on who this 'old friend' but she shoves an odd-colored tincture into Trick's hand and glances away, icy blue eyes burning holes into the wall. There will come a time when he will investigate Tamsin a bit further but the time is not now. Now all he wants to do is help her overcome this poison that has run rampant through her veins; even now he can hear her voice floating on the fringes of his consciousness. 

She lingers over his shoulder like a ghost and whispers platitudes and somewhere inside he  _knows_ that she will not lose out. If there was anything more prevalent in Bo's personality it was her stubbornness.

Like a shield she carried it with her, he had experienced it the first time he had met her and many times afterward. It only frustrates him that he cannot do more for her, cannot fix whatever it is that needs fixing. Loving someone like Bo did not mean fighting her battles for her, it meant standing beside her or in more recently...stepping aside. No one can claim themselves to be truly unselfish and while it had been one of the hardest things he had ever done he had let her go.

* * *

Calloused finger tips reach out and trace over her knuckles and he finds that drawing a breath is exceedingly painful. The weight of his grief, his guilt crushes him.

"Come back."

* * *

Somewhere in the labrythine passages of her head Bo hears an echo of Dyson's voice.

She struggles harder.


End file.
